Log In | Register
On February 6, following Personhood USA’s push to proclaim fertilized human eggs the same as grown humans, the Republican dominated Oklahoma legislature introduced the bill known as “Personhood Bill” SB 1433 to the Senate Floor. In response, Democratic State Senator Constance Johnson attached an amendment to the bill that would ban the spilling of semen in any location other than a woman’s vagina.
According to the report in thelostogle.com, the amendment would outlaw masturbation by men, and all forms of sexual activity “in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.” Monty Python would be so proud!
Thou Shalt Not Spill Thy Seed! Anti-Masturbation Amendment Added To Anti-Abortion Bill | Addicting Info
Seeded on Wed Feb 8, 2012 5:47 PM EST
Article Source: Is Rick Santorum The Second Coming Of Bush/Cheney? | Addicting Info
- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
- Public Discussion (96)
Yet another reason I cannot move to OK.
- 9 votes
I guess we should mention that Senator Johnson wasn’t being serious. She filed the amendment in jest and even voted to table it later in the day.
Did you miss this part in the article you seeded or was it a -deliberate- oversight on your part?
- 2 votes
Sounds like she might be having some problems at home with her Hubby. Someone should send them a bottle of Viagra! So that would mean also, that using a condom would be against the law then too......not the best amendment to propose.
Did you miss this part in the article you seeded or was it a -deliberate- oversight on your part?
She was proving a point. What's yours? I was making a joke. Where's your sense of humor?
- 6 votes
Sarcasm has no place in Politics when I pay the Senators salary. I don't pay taxes for politicians to make jokes in congress. Why isn't it funny, cause sooner or later (as if I'm not already) I'll end up paying for all the crummy misguided decisions they make.
Sarcasm has no place in Politics
It definitely has a place in political journalism.
- 5 votes
JohnDR,
So that means that the sick anti abortion bill, because abortion is already a constitutionally protected right, should never have been submitted to the state legislature. I agree, it is a complete waste of time and should never have happened.
- 2 votes
mightyj - I'm not paying a journalist nothin! LOL
Jonathan - (Which state legislature ?) I don't agree and I believe I was paying for the crummy decision of having abortion be a constitutionally protected right. The government recognized it was crummy and tried to fix itself. Thats the beauty of our system of checks and balances. Once in a while, they act to get it right.
JohnDR.
Look at the title of the article and read it. The 'silly' amendment was to an Anti-Abortion bill that was being presented in the OK state legislature.
And no, it was not a crummy decision to be a constitutionally protected right. That is your personal opinion, and guess what, if you don't want an abortion, then er um, DON'T HAVE ONE!!!
- 5 votes
if you don't want an abortion, then er um, DON'T HAVE ONE!!!
Well said.
- 2 votes
Thanks, but it isn't original, it has been said many times on here, but OMG, it is just too much common sense for these folks.
- 3 votes
I've said it myself Jonathan, and abortion should be a rightful, private decision.
I'm thinkin its a tough enough decision to make, and this issue masks real problems.
- 3 votes
Outlawing abortion is a ridiculous premise. You might as well outlaw plane tickets for pregnant women and have iron curtains at the borders. How far is the moral minority willing to go to prevent abortion? The whole issue is a beat to death POS that is under the horse.
mightyj
unfortunately they are willing to go to extremes to prevent abortions, even murder doctors that perform abortions. And for the more extreme, once they are done with abortion, they are going to go after contraception as well, including condoms.
- 1 vote
even murder doctors that perform abortions.
Jonathan! Right? Fire bombs, and shootings.
- 1 vote
If I'm "fixed", can I still whack off? That's all I need to know...lol
Happy Friday All!
- 1 vote
I dunno does it shoot or is it dry fire?
Technically. it could make a difference!
- 2 votes
I guess we should mention that Senator Johnson wasn’t being serious. She filed the amendment in jest and even voted to table it later in the day.
Senator ... er ... Johnson? hahahahaha.
- 3 votes
So they plan on incarcerating all boys who have wet dreams? Wow, guess that will take care of any procreation -- no men outside of prison means no mating!
- 7 votes
#2 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 5:55 PM ESTno men outside of prison means no mating!
Oh, how little you know... It just means no procreating.
- 9 votes
Wet dreams are caused my mariachis who sneak into one's room at night. Mariachis are not nice. They are related to clowns.
- 1 vote
Imagine waking up from your wet dream and finding 5 of them smiling and swaying back and forth. It is most frightening.
- 2 votes
Now I have that Monty Python "Every Sperm Is Sacred" song stuck in my head!!!!!
Damn you Grae!!!!!! :-)
- 2 votes
In response, Democratic State Senator Constance Johnson attached an amendment to the bill that would ban the spilling of semen in any location other than a woman's vagina.
Oh I think she should have left it in.
Er, the attachment.
Er, the attachment to the amendment.
Uhm, no pun intended.
- 14 votes
#3 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 5:57 PM ESToutlaw masturbation by men, and all forms of sexual activity “in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”
Another anti job plan.
How many peep show custodians will be put out of work?!
- 7 votes
#4 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 6:04 PM ESTWell, there are always the new police force "The Semen Police" they will need to hire to enforce this law....
The future.....
Knock knock knock... Open up!! It's the semen police! We have a warrant for your sheets, your towels and uh.... we have permission to DNA test your shower.
*facepalm!!!!
- 6 votes
Yet another job killing measure from the government. We are looking at a severe loss of
blow jobs, hand jobs, and the jobs they support in the community.
- 7 votes
Damn it, JJ!!!!!! LMAO!
[etva cleaning wine off the monitor!]
Quoted!
- 7 votes
OK. Not to worry folks. This is going to work out just fine. Oklahoma will be providing women's vaginas at convenient locations throughout Oklahoma for the semen to be spilled in. Teenaged boys, will be instructed to save their semen in bottles (coke bottles, coffee cans, what ever is handy) and then to deposit the semen in their local semen depository. Many of the women's vaginas will be kept at your local library for easy deposit. There is also a family plan so brothers and fathers can bring in their deposits in large containers. Remember, men and boys, to keep it refrigerated so it doesn't go bad.
This collection service will be free, of course.
Senator Constance Johnson, the fellow who introduced this amendment, will be drinking the collected semen. He believes it is the key to longevity. I, for one, certainly hope that he is able to complete his research in a timely manner.
We all already know this is the reason women live longer than men.
- 12 votes
#5 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 6:05 PM ESTThis collection service will be free, of course.
Sounds like another unfunded mandate, to me.
- 8 votes
Senator Constance Johnson, the fellow who introduced this amendment
His name is "Constance" fer chrissakes!!!!! Him and his brother Sue are some kinda screwed up!
- 6 votes
BTW, she's a she.
And not bad looking either! I'm happy to hear that the whole thing was a farce.
- 7 votes
and it's what you would call a poison pill. similar to the welfare recipient drug testing bills being poisoned with a lawmaker drug testing amendment.
- 5 votes
I for one am glad to see that someone finally came up with a bill that affects men for a change. And I doubt it will pass.
- 5 votes
I love the creativity in fighting against the absurdity of these anti women bills. She should have left the measure in the bill.
- 9 votes
#6 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 6:21 PM ESTI agree, fireryone. I am wondering if you and I were the only person who read the article?
She later removed the measure stating that she wanted to emphasize the absurdity of the bill and its sexist undertones that is inherent in Personhood movement.
Oklahoma’s pending Senate Bill 1433 says that the fetus “at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.” If Senate Bill 1433 becomes a law, all forms of abortion and various forms of contraception could be considered murder and therefore illegal.
- 5 votes
Oh, come on. I read the whole article. It is way funnier if you pretend you didn't read it all.
- 10 votes
Kudos, grump.
I admit the title gave me pause. I was wondering if the zealots of OK had actually decided to piss off men, but I had my doubts.
I was pleased to see at least one person in OK government make an effort to stand against the zealots and point out their insanity.
It is difficult for me to have "fun" about the what is happening to women's rights in the US or anywhere else because not only am I a woman... my mother died of a self-induced abortion when I was 7 months old. I have lived all of my life knowing what will happen when legal abortion becomes restrictive and/or unavailable.
- 7 votes
Me too, grump. It was way more fun to play with thinking it was real. Even if it were true, there is no way it would ever get passed. After all, think how boring OK airport Men's restrooms would become for many lawmakers.
- 4 votes
MoCowgirl, thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry about your loss.
- 3 votes
Cowgirl, what a wonderful lesson for us all. Grim but wonderfully true. Sorry.
- 2 votes
Thank you, fireyone. grump, no reason to apologize. You did not know.
I think it is vital that people understand everything that is stake here.
The child(ren) already born must take precedence over those that are not. I was adopted, abused, and thrown out at the age of 17 for not "fitting" in. Imagine that! /sarc
All those rosy tales of adoption are not the norm. Of course, foster care is worse.
Re: current adoption situation
There is a demand (even a lucrative market) for "perfect" babies because the supply is limited and for whatever reason there are numbers of people who are infertile or just don't want to go through the aches, pains, or face the risks of pregnancy.
Despite the fact that the number of children in foster care in the US remains steady at around 500,000 kids, the majority available for adoption, few people want them. They are "trouble", have medical issues...not "perfect".
Combine high use of birth control and girls/women exercising their abortion option along with the fact that girls/women usually opt to keep their baby born outside of marriage in the US there are very few babies available for adoption ...much less perfect ones.
There are many reasons that states are legislating "forced" birth initiatives and cutting health and welfare benefits at the same time. Having more babies available to be placed into the adoption pool is one of them. The ones not adopted can be tossed in with the other foster children considered rejects by US society.
Adoption is a very lucrative business in the US, but then again so is foster care.
People in the US have been adopting children from outside the US....but that market is shrinking drastically.
http://www.npr.org/2011/11/17/142344354/fewer-babies-available-for-adoption-by-u-s-parents
Fewer Babies Available For Adoption By U.S. Parents
..........
Just some food for thought - Why doesn't the anti-choice people take care of the children already born? Why are the anti-choice people in love with fetuses?
.... the article cited is from 2006.
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/FosterCare/story?id=2017991&page=1#.TzNDicXlMpk
Each week, nearly 60,000 children in the United States are reported as abused or neglected, with nearly 900,000 confirmed abuse victims in 2004. About 520,000 of those children end up in foster care each year -- double the number 25 years ago. Approximately 800,000 children every year come in contact with the foster care system.
Despite more than a decade of intended reform, the nation's foster care system is still overcrowded and rife with problems. But taxpayers are spending $22 billion a year -- or $40,000 a child -- on foster care programs.
- 6 votes
((((Mo))))
You have shared that with me before. Again, it shocks me that people are so ignorant of what will happen to women if abortion becomes illegal again.
I promise that I will stand with you and do whatever it takes to make sure our daughters are safe from this, and that abortion remains safe and legal.
- 4 votes
Thank you, ERich. ((((ERich)))))))
I learned when I was a young child that most people in my Bible Belt town, county and state (Arkansas) that most area "Christians" only believed what they waned to believe and rarely allowed the facts to get in their way. Almost 40 years later, I am sad to say that not a damned thing has changed.
In the early 70s, an area preacher took in 3 foster kids who happened to be in my sophomore class. One of the boys committed suicide because of the beatings he had received at the hands of the preacher. The community of course was aghast that the boy did not "appreciate" the preacher taking him in and trying to make a "decent" person out of him. Several people even went to the preacher's house to scrub the boy's brains off the wall so the preacher and his wife would be "spared" the emotional upset.
I bet the boy was so proud that his mother did not abort him so that he could have 16 years of neglect and abuse that most people cannot imagine.
Not only did I have empathy for him .... I had considered doing the exact same thing from the time I was 10 years old. I hung on day by day by day knowing that if I could make it until I was 18 years old that I could leave.
No one should come into this life being "unwanted" by their mother. NO ONE!
- 5 votes
You are right.... I have seen what not being wanted can do to a child. It is horrific.
E
- 3 votes
All I can say is that one of these clowns had better be standing by, ready to give me a bj whenever I would other wise take matters into my own hands.
Kinda blows the whole "pulling yourself up" thing to Hell, don't it?
- 7 votes
#7 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 6:50 PM ESTYou see how crazed the right-wing gets when it comes to anything touching the subject of sexuality? It drives them nuts! Soon these people will be demanding the legislative enactment of the entire moral theology of the Catholic Church (if they haven't done so already).
- 3 votes
#8 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 6:51 PM ESTOh no, this is Oklahoma...evangelical land.
They think the Pope is a Demon.
- 4 votes
Does this apply to visitors to Oklahoma? Who will and how is this to be enforced? I, for one, did not realize semen was in such short supply. To paraphrase an old Doritos ad "It's O.K., I'll make more!"
- 4 votes
#9 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 7:11 PM ESTWhat a bunch of jerk-offs in the Oklahoma State house.
<required "snark">
- 5 votes
#11 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 7:52 PM ESTso basically this means that women can masturbate and men can't? because women don't spill their seed when they orgasm?
- 3 votes
#12 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 8:02 PM ESTWell my ex still thinks I shouldn't be with anyone because I still belong to her. Good thing I am in a different country than she is now hahaha.
Mind you, my back hasn't healed up enough yet to er um, you know ...
Walking around though, but with a cane now.
- 1 vote
I would have to be in traction to make that work, the last thing I want to do is risk damaging it again, though I am definitely sure that you wouldn't want to deal with my ex if she ever found out. :P
- 1 vote
oh I don't mind you being tied up while we dance horizontally... :P
- 2 votes
so says the disney character as my ex comes at her with a knife and mace to keep the woman away from her property.
- 1 vote
you forget...I have a castle full of things willing to fight for me -- especially Lumiere, he'll burn her ass for sure :)
- 1 vote
well lets just say that when I move back to Canada, it won't be back to toronto. She refuses to abide by the restraining order and noone is willing to enforce it, so I end up getting stalked by her. I got some time though, it will take a while to sell my company and then for the closing of it, then I have 6 months to move back.
- 1 vote
"WooHoo!!!"
I'm with you ERich. Finally, women get a break! :-)
- 1 vote
They can always ask me for a helping hand. I could be talked into it.
- 4 votes
Jonathan,
You got a few viners who will be more than happy to make sure the restraining order is enforced.
:) Of course I don't have a clue how, but we are on your side my friend!!!
lol, well the judge goes all well and issues the restraining order, but the police actually say, they don't care, there is no way that a women could do enough to get a restraining order, that I must have been doing something to deserve it.
Tis frustrating, that is all. I have time before I move back, though I am probably going to have to write off this house when I move out.
I might just donate it to the democratic party to add insult to injury for my neighbours hahaha (they are all rabid joe deadbeat dad walsh worshippers)
- 1 vote
I could donate it to PP. That would be another laugh riot. :D
Maybe I could direct it to become the new illinois branch of the PP Abortion Octoplex, serving the entire midwest United States.
NOTE: Jonathan can be an evil bastard when the need arises.
- 1 vote
Reading all these comments has me thinking of whipping up a batch of sextuplets!
- 4 votes
#13 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 8:23 PM ESTI guess that also makes anal sex illegal too.
That just might get the GOP on board to approve this amendment.
- 1 vote
#14 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 8:33 PM ESTmakes anal sex illegal too.
the whole issue just doesn't smell right.
- 4 votes
yeah, it does smell a bit @!$%#ty.
wow!!! you really rollin in on the puns today.
- 2 votes
We will see if all you Viners are still posting these funny comments AFTER the Pud Police make you wear the Sandpaper gloves.
- 1 vote
#16 - Wed Feb 8, 2012 9:49 PM ESTCSI Tech: We found a large pile of sawdust. It's likely Mrs Bobbitt did NOT really use a knife.
- 2 votes
Mrs. Bobbitt's sister tried to cut her husband's penis off, too. She only got it half cut so it was attempted and not a felony. She will only be charged with a missed-de-weiner.
Ok, I know, old joke. I couldn't help myself.
- 4 votes
It ain't called a woody for nothing.
Do you know why Pinochio had to quit jerking off?
His hand caught fire.
How to start a fire: rub a boy scout and a girl scout together.
- 2 votes
I read all the comments in the article and there was one that really caught my attention:
Simply allowing pregnant women to claim their embryos as dependents on their tax returns should be enough to kill any bill like this.
- 2 votes
#18 - Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:45 PM ESTWhy just pregnant women? Imagine all those unclaimed exemptions lost to menstruation each month...:)
- 1 vote
don't forget that you'd have to send in proof of menstruation -- a bunch of tampons and pads attached to the tax returns...
- 3 votes
You're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
As a new user, you may notice a few temporary content restrictions. Click here for more info.
